RINKY-DINK TERMS OF SERVICE (LEGAL)
A MESSAGE FROM OUR RINKY-DINK LAWYERS.
Because we offer the most rinky-dink investments to be found anywhere on the internet, or even off the internet, our rinky-dink lawyers have insisted that we provide the following rinky-dink legal statement. We know it came from real lawyers because it's real hard to understand. It's kind of the reverse of something somebody said about somebody who said so much in so few words, or something like that. If we could remember the quote then we might quote it and then you might recognize it but then, according to our rinky-dink lawyers, somebody would probably sue us for failing to provide attribution, or maybe it was contribution, or retribution; something like that. Anyhow, here's what they told us to tell you.
By coming here you have agreed to abide by the Rinky-Dink Terms and Conditions set forth hereinbelow, or maybe it's herein below, or that follow (whatever, it rhymes with "low"). So, read them carefully, because when you use our web site, you automatically agree to them, whether you read them or not, and whether you read them carefully or not. You see, it doesn't actually matter. The important thing is that you could have read them if you wanted to and so, if you don't, and thereby suffer some sort of harm or injury or insult or embarrassment or loss (whether personal, financial or whatever) then it's your fault, not ours. Got that? Whatever it is, IT'S YOUR FAULT, NOT OURS.
A. RESTRICTIONS ON USE OF MATERIALS CONTAINED ON OUR SITE.
You cannot copy, re-use or memorize any of the material (words, images, videos, whatever) from our web site. This means, among other things, that you cannot copy, distribute, republish, upload, download, post, repost or transmit anything unless first, foremost and prior thereto you get our specific and informed consent to do so, or so to do; and, for everyone's (that means yours and ours and especially our respective lawyers') benefit and protection such specific and informed consent must be in writing and signed by our Rinky-Dink President and counter-signed (seconded) by our Rinky-Dink Auditor. For purposes hereof, "writing" is defined as words, numbers and other characters in indelible (uneraseable) dark blue (navy) ink manually (i.e. ink pen held by means of human fingers or toes) on plain white 25% cotton content 25 lb. 8.5" x 11.0" paper. Any purported consent that does not meet the foregoing requirements shall be totally, absolutely and incontrovertibly deemed to be fake, phoney and meaningless, regardless of who created and/or signed it.
B. USE OF MATERIALS YOU PROVIDE.
C. AND THERE'S MORE.
We don't have to treat anything you send us (as described in Paragraph or Section A above) as confidential but we can if we, in our unfettered, unrestricted and sole discretion and judgement choose to do so. You can't sue us for using or refusing to use, or for disclosing or refusing to disclose, or for keeping and making a profit from, or for preventing you from using or disclosing or from making a profit from, any of the the remarks, suggestions, ideas, graphics, software, code, programs, words, sentences, paragraphs, articles, comments and other information that you submit to us (as described in Paragraph or Section A above). Even if we use whatever it was you submitted to us for any reason, including to make a profit from it, we don't have to pay you or anyone else for it or let you have any share of the profits or the credit, fame or glory derived therefrom. We have and retain forever plus one day the exclusive ownership of all present and future rights of every kind to submissions of every kind, without limitation, exception or remorse. We can use them for any purpose without compensating you or anyone else for them. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you agree to forever indemnify and hold us harmless from any cause of action, claim, damages, fines, penalties and other liabilities that may be asserted, imposed, entered or levied against or upon us by reason of our use of your submission in any manner and you acknowledge and agree that you are responsible for any submission you make and that you (not we) have full and exclusive responsibility and liability for the submission including but not limited to its legality, reliability, suitability, appropriateness, genuineness, originality, copyright and/or trademark infringement attendant thereon or thereto or by reason thereof.
D. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY.
RINKY-DINK WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OR INJURY THAT ACCOMPANY OR RESULT FROM YOUR USE OF ITS WEB SITE. THIS INCLUDES (BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO) DAMAGES OR INJURY CAUSED BY ANY USE OF (OR INABILITY TO USE) THE WEB SITE, USE OF (OR INABILITY TO USE) ANY SITE TO WHICH YOU HYPERLINK FROM OUR SITE; FAILURE OF PERFORMANCE, ERROR, OMISSION, INTERRUPTION, DEFECT, DELAY IN OPERATION OR TRANSMISSION, COMPUTER VIRUS, OR LINE FAILURE. WE ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES, INCLUDING DAMAGES INTENDED TO COMPENSATE SOMEONE DIRECTLY FOR A LOSS OR INJURY,
DAMAGES REASONABLY EXPECTED TO RESULT FROM A LOSS OR INJURY ("CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES"),
OTHER MISCELLANEOUS DAMAGES AND EXPENSES RESULTING DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY FROM A LOSS OR INJURY ("INCIDENTAL DAMAGES"). FURTHERMORE, WE ARE NOT LIABLE EVEN IF WE'VE BEEN NEGLIGENT OR EVEN IF WE OR OUR AUTHORIZED REPRESENTATIVE WAS ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. IN CERTAIN STATES THE LAW MAY NOT ALLOW US TO LIMIT OR EXCLUDE LIABILITY FOR "INCIDENTAL" OR "CONSEQUENTIAL" DAMAGES, SO THE ABOVE LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY, AND YOU MAY INDEED HAVE THE RIGHT TO RECOVER THESE TYPES OF DAMAGES. BUT IN ANY EVENT, OUR LIABILITY TO YOU FOR ALL LOSSES, DAMAGES, INJURIES, AND CLAIMS OF EVERY KIND (WHETHER THE DAMAGES ARE CLAIMED UNDER THE TERMS OF A CONTRACT, OR THEY'RE CLAIMED TO BE CAUSED BY NEGLIGENCE OR OTHER WRONGFUL CONDUCT, OR THEY'RE CLAIMED UNDER ANY OTHER LEGAL THEORY) WILL NOT BE GREATER THAN THE AMOUNT YOU PAID TO ACCESS OUR WEB SITE. EVERYTHING ON OUR WEB SITE IS PROVIDED AS IS AND WHERE IS WITHOUT ANY EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED WARRANTY OF ANY KIND SUCH AS BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTY OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE AT ALL. RINKY-DINK DISCLAIMS, DISAVOWS AND REJECTS ANY AND ALL EXPRESSED AND/OR IMPLIED WARRANTIES ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ON OUR WEB SITE. THIS INCLUDES (BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO) WARRANTIES THAT THE MATERIAL IS OF ANY PARTICULAR LEVEL OF QUALITY OR FIT FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR THAT THE FUNCTIONAL ELEMENTS CONTAINED IN THE MATERIALS WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED OR ERROR-FREE, OR THAT DEFECTS WILL BE CORRECTED, OR THAT OUR WEB SITE OR THE SERVERS THAT MAKE IT AVAILABLE ARE FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS, OR THAT SUCCESSFUL RESULTS OR OUTCOMES WILL RESULT FROM FOLLOWING ANY INSTRUCTIONS, DIRECTIONS, ADVICE, RECOMMENDATIONS OR RECIPES CONTAINED IN THE MATERIALS. IN ADDITION TO THE ABOVE, YOU (NOT RINKY-DINK) ASSUME THE ENTIRE COST OF ALL NECESSARY SERVICING, REPAIR OR CORRECTION TO YOUR EQUIPMENT, MACHINERY, FIXTURES, ETC. ALSO, WE DON'T ENDORSE, APPROVE OR WARRANT ANY PRODUCTS OR INFORMATION OFFERED AT SITES YOU REACH THROUGH OUR SITE.
Unless otherwise specified, the materials in our sites are presented to provide information about Rinky-Dink which is a Kansas (USA) corporation. We do not represent or imply that the materials on our website are appropriate or available for use outside of the United States or the State of Kansas. If you use our web site from any location outside of the United States or the State of Kansas, you are responsible for compliance with any applicable laws in your jurisdiction. Software, if any, from our web site may be subject to export controls imposed by the United States and shall not be downloaded or otherwise exported or reexported in violation of such controls: (a) into (or to a national or resident of) any country to which the United States has placed an embargo (such as Cuba, Iran, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Syria, and Yugoslavia); or (b) to anyone on the U.S. Treasury Department's Specially Designated Nationals List or the U.S. Commerce Department's Table of Deny Orders. If you download or use such software you are, in effect, representing and warranting to us that you are not located in, are not under the control of, and are not a national or resident of any such country, and that you are not on any such list.
F. MISCELLANEOUS BUT NEVERTHELESS IMPORTANT.
These Terms and Conditions, and the agreement(s) they create, shall be governed by, interpreted, and applied according to the laws of the State of Kansas (without applying the state's conflict-of-law principles). Any suit or cause of action shall be brought in a United States Federal or Kansas State court of proper jurisdiction sitting in the City of Topeka, County of Shawnee, State of Kansas, USA and you irrevocably agree and consent to the personal and subject matter jurisdiction of such Court(s). If any provision hereof is adjudged or found to be unlawful, void or unenforceable, it will not affect the validity and enforceability of any other provision(s). Rinky-Dink may modify these Terms and Conditions, and the agreement(s) they create, at any time, simply by updating this posting and without notice to you.